the weather's hot.
but life's been exciting!
the week without band has been great. not as empty as i'll have anticipated (would actually not have been able to go for band anyway) but its certainly been fun.
spent tuesday at home sick, resting and recuperating.
wednesday, DEBATES. which we won :DDD hope we get into finals? (but not against RALA please no)
thursday, school (social studies was super enlightening as always), inkspiration! we really have stuff planned hope it goes well, GAC where we discussed thai politics at our first chocolate council with our new recruits; at least i think it was the first. couldn't go for the session on tues. but again, it was really enlightening and grounding.
i seriously have so much more to learn from my betters~ i talk and think too quickly and jump ahead of myself, never realising what exactly i'm trying to get at, not thinking through what i'm thinking before saying it, confusing people and never getting the point, both for myself and others. I NEED TO LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE. i think i have difficulties looking at stuff from a height. this goes for everything in my life actually.
issues, yes. priorities, yes. time, yes. achievements, yes.
its time to assess what i have and what i don't need and what i really want. i've just been going a little too fast to realise that what i need to do now is to stop accepting everything and finding out, deciding what i really want. i know this has to be done soon, yes, because major decisions lie in the near future. i've narrowed my options though, so that's a step forward?
for some reason, it only took a simple acknowledgement from someone who doesn't know me at all and was probably only following instructions to relay a message and get something done for me to realise that i've gone somewhere.
hah.
and there i was thinking i had nothing still. really, what my parents and some people around me have been telling me, i never really heard. its not really time management but stuff management, for want of a better word.
perhaps this is where the "conscientious" part of me comes in. i like my life to be nicely categorised. which is frankly really idealistic (but maybe that's what i am) because nothing is compartmentalised, everything is linked in some way or other. (band is an example)
on a side note, my table is somewhat organised now after so long and it makes me feel good *gives self an approving nod* i have my corkboard on it now! and bought pins so i can finally start putting my grades, goals, fav quotes, pics, deadlines whatever up. haha, i guess i'm really idealistic. i actually expect myself to be able to put this stuff up together and not feel stressed by it or when i'm emo, feel the irony of my life. maybe some part of me is subconsciously hoping that the stuff (parts of my life, i realise) will balance itself up by having to share the space on the same corkboard. there is definitely some irony here *solemn look*
i repeat myself a lot, jump ahead of myself a lot but hopefully, time will allow me to mellow without taking away the spontaneity. i like to think of it as staying relevant and reaching a balance. *assumes yoga stance* am glad that, as someone kindly said, even as a sec 4, i'm not a "cynical, cold" person "who can't care about ______ anymore"
thanks for saying that, btw.
(:
